Asiya Wadud

Feels good kind of to be cold and alone
I’m remembering when i was a newborn
Fresh and feral born head first and nearly jaundiced
Caully frog legged and liminal
Gracious and silken black and fatty at the middle
Cynic and beatific caustic and crushless
Bludgeoned and bruised cats
Animals swaddled and true

I’m alive I’m listing I’m lolling there’s a coldness
I’m underwater I’m flailing
I’m a kitten and I’m nursing I’m a cat and I’m birthing
I’m a dog I’m laughing I’m a dog I’m wailing
I’m a moon and I’m waxing I’m a moon and I’m crescent
I’m a night sky and I’m emptied I’m a night sky and I’m lonesome
I’m a blithe noon and I’m peaking I’m a blithe noon and I’m sharp toothed
And I’m Mary Jane and a penny loafer
I’m an afro puff and ring around the collar and
I’m a dirty blackwatch uniform I’m a polyester sweater

I’m asleep and didn’t dream I didn’t dream and won’t dream
I’m a young bear and I’m hungry
I’m a young bear and I’m fly fishing
I’m on Route 10 now with Noah
I’m driving east from Alamogordo
I’m beatific and I’m caustic
I’m a lost monarch in Mexico
I’m a hummingbird at altitude
I’m a hummingbird l’chaim
I’m a warmed egg at the womb
I’m a little plucky and droopy
I’m wrapping a banana in my collar
I’m wringing out my underwear I’m inhaling midnight jasmine
I’m scaling low walls I can walk over it’s an easy enough challenge
I see a mountain and look south

I kiss my kittens inside their mouths
I eat my kitten’s dirty mouth
I grease my kitten’s pink mouth
I tickle my kitten’s wet snout
I give my kittens mouth to mouth
I nurse my hummingbirds to health
They feast on mangoes they feast from mouths
They walk straight legged prayers at mecca
Prayers to the east I stuff my womb
With a dirty rag I stuff my womb
With my mouth I stuff my womb with all of that: a hummingbird
A kitten a listing jaundiced frog legged water logged blackness
I shut it off I weld the door I don’t look back
I swan dive

Feels good kind of alone and cold
I’m remembering when I was a newborn
Fresh and feral born head first silken black and fatty
At the middle slice of fatback tobacco fields
Stuttering and ugly
God’s image and likeness
My mother’s maiden my father’s refuse
My little nothings form a mouth